Forgive The Pitiful Blogger In Me...

Hello Hello All!!

I know I must be some kind of pitiful blogger to take two hiatuses shortly after introducing myself to blog-world, but what can I say? Miss Concrete Jungle is a human being, 'so take meeee..as I ammm..or have no-thing at alllll...' Haha...but truthfully for anyone who has taken an inkling of interest in my writing, I appreciate you, and it is because of you (and folks who haven't seen the blog yet) that I'm doing this.

The short story I posted earlier gives you an idea of what I've been doing lately, and I hope you enjoy it and future stories as well. I've been working on a few stories that have been sort of therapeutic and I decided to share them, because maybe they'll somehow shed insight for someone else. There are many aspects of this life that require our attention, but it seems that nothing hits home quite as universally as love and relationships. I felt I could use a different perspective to discuss the facets of love and relationships in a way that comes naturally to me, so once again--I hope you enjoy.

On another note as you can see, the blog has a new look, but I doubt it will remain for long because I kind of detest pink (smile), so I'm trying out a bunch of new templates to see what look I like the best. Spanish Harlem had found one that hit my Concrete Jungle theme on the head, but the stupid thing wouldn't work ::grrrr::

So if anyone out there knows where I can find some decent templates, I can offer a very gracious thank you!!

I also have an e-mail address that doesn't put Government on blast, lol, so I encourage you to hit me up with any questions, comments or suggestions. Simply drop me a line at missconcretejungle@gmail.com, I love getting e-mails!!

Until next time check out a song I've been singing non-stop for the past 48 hours from Foreign Exchange. One of my favorite blogs SoulBounce.com put me on to them, and I trust you'll enjoy them too!

Now let me head to bed before I call out sick tomorrow!!

Just Let Ya Souuulll Glowww 1st Edition Vol. III

Mmm...there are few things I enjoy doing to pass the time than listening to early 90s R & B I swear!! Today, it's all about Lo-Key--Where Dey At? That was the name of their first album, but nah for real, where are they?? Unfortunately their stint in the limelight lasted as long as it takes to listen to that record. Well actually they had two albums, with Where Dey At? debuting in 1992 and a second, Back 2 Da House, which dropped in 1994.

If you read my post on Cece Peniston from a few weeks back, you'll know that my mother used to belong to the Columbia House music club, so we had both Lo-Key records right along with all the other great R & B music of those days. I remember listening to Back 2 Da House a few times, but Lo-Key's debut is where it's at!

So, as I was reading the latest post on 90's R&B Junkie (all 90's r&b lovers, check out that blog!), which is written on another early 90's guy group, Portrait (I'll hit them up one day too), Lo-Key just popped into my head out of nowhere. Their jam 'I Got A Thang For Ya' is a 90's slow-jam that I'm sure no night at the club was complete without. I was all of 7-years-old when this song came out, so it's not like I really know, but I'm just sayin!! You know the words, "Here's a lil somethin that you should know, it's that I L-O-V-E"--Classic!

Here's the video below, and following that is another single from their debut I really appreciate as well, 'Hey There Pretty Lady'

HARD WORK, SECOND EFFORT, DEDICATION, LOYALTY & LOVE (for 90's R&B!)

The Soapbox Diaries 1st Edition, Volume II..My Beautiful Struggle

Since it'll be a long time before I can afford a therapist, I started a blog. LOL, that's not the only reason...I also love to write and have gotten away from it professionally, only to realize something is missing...Blogging helps. But there are a few issues in my life I rarely share because of the hurt behind it--we all know that feeling. So I've discovered transparency (while keeping a few secrets to myself) is therapeutic as well, so today is my first deep deep down post. I hope you can appreciate my BEAUTIFUL STRUGGLE.

I was 15 before I had my first real boyfriend. Nowadays, I’d say 15 is an age most parents will allow their daughters to start dabbling with dating, but at the time I felt I was light-years behind my peers. After all by that time, many of my girlfriends had had at least 2 or 3 steady boyfriends, several guys I knew were sexually active, and there were plenty of foul, but sadly true rumors going around to make up for everyone else in between.

As for me, I was never the “pretty friend”—I was the shy, laid-back, dark-skinned, athletic chic with the tomboy body to match—so even after I grew out of my tomboy phase during my sophomore year of high school, it seemed my ‘role’ had been cast. I just began to accept it. I’m forever grateful that many of my pretty friends are more than just a cute face. Several are still close to me today and are both beautiful inside and out, but unluckily for me, I began to harbor some crazy, silly opinions of myself during my teenage years. What I felt I lacked in physical beauty, I tried to make up for with my talents in sports and music and wearing nice clothes, but the real reason behind my shortcomings is another blog for another day. Needless to say I had a hard time being comfortable in my own skin.

And then there was Dante*. I admit there was never real chemistry between us or even a strong attraction—well actually that’s me speaking for myself in hindsight—but at the time all I knew was there was someone who actually liked me and thought I was the pretty friend. He was cute. Chocolate complexion, about 6”1’, lanky build, three years older than me. One thing that was attractive about Dante* was his eyes—the color of dark brown sugar, so clear and innocent—and the prettiest, long eyelashes I’d ever noticed on a guy.

Dante* and I met one summer during a week-long religious meeting I attended with my grandparents. I honestly don’t remember exactly how we met, but he was the friend of a friend of a friend. He was from Cleveland about an hour from me, which meant long distance calls, but we exchanged numbers anyway to keep in touch. The first night he called, we talked for hours about our likes and dislikes and after we decided we had enough in common to warrant liking one another, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. There were no frills or thrills about this ‘relationship,’ no real drama, miraculously lasted about six months. Long story short, after running up his parents’ phone bill to $200+ a few months in a row with no job to pay them back, after the time he embarrassed me by hitching a ride to da ‘Yo with $20 talkin about dinner and a movie (plus gas $$ to get back!), after pissing me off a few times by pressuring me into a couple cheap feels, after I found out he dropped out of high school and didn’t seem to have plans to go back—we broke up. He realized he really was in no position to be someone’s boyfriend, and I realized I wasn’t that desperate for a boyfriend. I’m a crybaby, so I cried a lil bit the day after we broke it off, and I was cool. More importantly I learned a lesson about how wanting a guy to find me attractive and like me for who I was, put me in a position to date a guy I felt no sparks for whatsoever.

Looking back, I can finally realize that I was never as bad looking as I thought. It was how I felt and perceived myself. For a very long time my self-esteem and level of self-confidence was only as high as how I saw myself through others’ eyes.
Cockiness is never a good look in my book (unintentional rhyme), but being confident in what you bring to the table is always attractive and sexy. It’s taken 23 years of living for me to realize this, now I’m working to implement it into my life.

I spent a lot of time hurting inside, because I lacked confidence and didn’t know how to get it. I refuse to pass this type of hurt on to my children, especially if I give birth to a daughter. It will be my most important mission to make sure she never experiences the disappointments I faced in robbing myself of personal joy. The joy that comes in embracing who you are and yes, what you look like. Ladies, I don’t care where you are in the dating game; please don’t ever settle for less.

And I continue my BEAUTIFUL STRUGGLE.

HARD WORK, SECOND EFFORT, DEDICATION, LOYALTY & LOVE...I am the epitome of them all.

Maxwell, Where Art Thou?

This past Christmas '07, Spanish Harlem and I were walking through the Queens Mall one night on our way to Macy's, (which is open for 24 hrs. right before Christmas..geez that would never go down where I'm from!) when I noticed a face that looked wildly familiar on a Gap ad. Double take, stop dead in my tracks and all---wait..Is that Maxwell?? Sure enough, it was in all of his suave, sexy glory rockin a fly pair of retro shades and even flier haircut--And I must say, I LOVE his new look. Preppy yet rugged, masculine--mos def a good look for Maxwell. I've never been a fan of men with big hair or braids as it is, but that's JUST ME.
So with the ad, I asked the question I know many of us want the answer to--Where the hell is the music Maxwell??!! We need you!!
Fast forward to Summer '08 and I get my answer: Just when I thought the Al Green tribute during the BET Awards couldn't get any better (Anthony Hamilton & Jill Scott Hel-looo), this man walks out on stage..I bout passed out..he sounded great and looked delicious.
And now, e'rybody and they momma are swooning over his latest performance during an event for the HollyRod Foundation out in Cali, that went down a couple of weeks ago. He performed "This Woman's Work" (of course), and lil miss hostess Holly Robinson-Peete was mos def feelin' herself, but I would've been too! Still no new music, but once again, he sounded great and looked delicious. Check the flick out below.
And Maxwell, if you're reading: please, please PUH-LEAZE tell me you're working on a new album! Because as much as I 'heart' "This Woman's Work," I need more! I welcome you with open arms!!!
Also check out my personal favorite Maxwell song from the Love Jones Soundtrack (oh yes!), 'Sumthin Sumthin Mellosmoothe Mix'...gosh even after a decade I could listen to it on repeat for a good two hours and not complain.

Let My Hop On My Soapbox Right Quik (My Weekend)...

I might have to either start a personal music blog or dedicate the weekends of Miss Concrete Jungle to music, because all weekend I've been sitting on my computer reading music blogs and reliving my love for 80's/90's R&B (and some Hip-Hop)--and just music I love in general. For the first time in awhile I haven't had any major plans for the weekend and spent a lot of time at home alone while Spanish Harlem (my bf) was at work, so I took full advantage. I found two great music blogs: soulbounce.com & 90's R&B Junkie, which I've added under 'MESSAGE!', and between those blogs, YouTube and Pandora.com, I rocked the weekend away in pure content mode.

Music has always been a huge part of my life, mostly manifested through growing up in the church. Singing, playing the piano, being in a youth choir, choir directing, writing poetry/lyrics has always made me a happy camper, so much so, that people who've known me for a long time wonder why I never pursued music professionally. I guess for me, musical talent just came naturally to me and was something I could always call my own, so I never felt the need to become a 'professional'.

My lazy weekend activity reminded me of how I used to spend HOURS alone in my room listening to CD's, learning to play Gospel and R&B joints by ear, singing in the mirror, pretending I was directing a choir..I miss that..Now that I'm out in the real world, I've become too 'busy' to do what used to make me happy or calm me down when I was upset.

Music has such power, and I've become so disheartened by the industry which no longer seems to cultivate or even encourage true artistry--it's pathetic. So many musical acts (they don't even deserve the title artist) are out here selling their souls just to get on the radio, oversexualizing and blatantly disrespecting a craft that has the power to truly touch people's lives. There are alot of great artists out there truly doing their thing, but too often you have dig and search just to hear them. School districts are taking away music programs as if they're really spending our tax dollars on something more beneficial, I'm just through. I fear that our lil brothers, sisters and cousins will not have a real appreciation for what music is all about at the rate things are going.

Maybe subconsciously this is part of the reason why I never pursued music professionally; because I much as I love it, I didn't have the patience for people who would only try and tell me what to sing, how to sing it, what to wear, what to do, etc. etc. OR try and tell me to pick another career becuz making it big in music is like making it to the NBA or hitting the lottery.

But sadly instead of dealing with it in the music industry, I chose to chase after Corporate America, which is a whole 'nother beast, only to discover--not for me. So now I'm on a journey that I'm sure will include music one day, I'm just not sure in what capacity. I just hope I figure it out soon, because NYC is not a place for folks in limbo. So, We'll see what happens.

For now check out this joint from Monie Love (I forgot about this one!) that I found on 90's R&B junkie..Remember when this was the female hip-hop game??



HARD WORK, SECOND EFFORT, DEDICATION, LOYALTY & LOVE

'Da Truth!

Early this week (when I still had cable..long story..Bronx residents beware: the folks at Cablevision are some perps..) I caught Eric Benet's new single, "You're The Only One" on my FAV music channel VH1 Soul and liked it instantly. The single has a real ol' school, 'they don't make music like this anymore,' 'make u wanna be in luv' feel to it, so I hope folks will take notice when his new album drops this fall. But the joint also got me to reminiscing about how much I've always loved his voice and enjoyed his music from day 1. Like any true music aficionado, I can't stand it when artists with bonafide talent spend the better part of their careers on the underrated radar, and Eric Benet is unfortunately one of those artists in my book. Let's forget for a moment the whole tragic end to his relationship with Halle Berry, and remember that before his 'he's gotta have it' days, Benet was and still is 'da Truth!! Luckily enough, in my opinion I will say some of his early limelight was squashed by the likes of D'Angelo, Maxwell, etc., so at least he wasn't overshadowed by some wack wannabes (which happens WAYYY to often nowadays). So 'Da Truth is my tribute to the true artists out there..Below check out "You're The Only One" & "Femininity" which I'm sure you remember from his debut album...






HARD WORK, SECOND EFFORT (always worth it), DEDICATION (never give up on your craft), LOYALTY & LOVE...

"I'm an Artist...So I'm Sensitive About My Sh&t..."

I got the title of this post from Erykah Badu when I had the pleasure of seeing her in concert at Wingate Park in Brooklyn a few weeks back..a BOMB free show if there ever was one..but as she was preluding the next single off of her latest album 'New Amerykah Pt. 1 4th World War,' she showed a bit of vulnerability about the crowd feelin the new joint (as if she really has a reason). There was no need to worry tho, becuz it was hot!! I'm so glad there are three more parts, becuz Part 1 is a well-planned tease..ANYWAYZ So now as I decide to share my own work, I'm borrowing Erykah's quote and this will be the title of each such post. Check out a piece I just wrote called WANNABE vs. JIGGABOO...Peace and a Bottle 'a Hair Grease!

WANNABE vs. JIGGABOO

OK, so after a few years of contemplating going natural with my hairstyle, I have finally done the do! I think after I got tired of my comb getting stuck in my hair as I grew it out, I said to hell with it, cut it to the roots!! And now, I love it on so many levels, and wonder why it took me so long to finally whack it all off. Initially my fear was how I would look, or rather would I have the confidence to pull the look off, and I must say having my perm chopped off to a length comparable to my man’s when he hasn’t had a fresh cut in a couple weeks, has added a swag to my step…As cliché as it may sound, I feel free…I feel bold…I feel kinda hot…

I feel like I’ve taken a huge step in the direction of living my life by my own terms, irregardless of what others have to say about the life I choose—and for me—that is a certified victory. I know there are many theories in existence surrounding black women and their hair, it’s our crowning glory, there’s a deep-rooted history. All that kept running through my mind was the scene from School Daze between the Jiggaboos and Wannabes.

Would Curtis still find me attractive with short hair? Will my family and friends look at me sideways, I was hoping my mother wouldn’t say Tara don’t you dare… Am I now out of the running for a whole slew of careers? Does natural hair make me more ‘black’, or more pretty, or less pretty, or more socially aware? Is it really just hair? It’s funny how such a simple change can affect personalities and attitudes and opinions and career opportunities…All I know is I’m still me. I will always be Tara Charisse.

No more $$ on a wash and set, just wash it myself and I’m out the door, I’d rather put that $30 toward my student debt…I don’t have to fold my pillow to keep from smashing my curls, only to wake up with a crick in my neck…No more spritz, or black gel, or the sound of my hair sizzling like some bacon, or running when it rains so my hair won’t get wet…Once had bangs and my face broke out—tryin to look cute, and this is the thanks I get?

I didn’t cut my hair because I moved to New York and became a different person, or because I have some big point to prove to the world. If anything I cut my hair because deep inside I was always scared to go against the grain of everything everyone else said I should be or look, and I can’t be that girl. This is about building self-assurance and esteem. So if going back to nappy roots isn’t it…if being naturally me isn’t it, I guess I don’t know what it means. It’s time to start from scratch and begin letting the complete me come out, so I’ll start by pulling my self-esteem off the shelf…Now I just gotta hold my head higher and look folks dead in the eye…Wow maybe I am changing a little…so allow me to reintroduce myself…

HARD WORK, SECOND EFFORT, DEDICATION, LOYALTY & LOVE (of one's self)...EMBRACE WHO U ARE!