Thursday, August 14, 2008

"I'm an Artist...So I'm Sensitive About My Sh&t..."

I got the title of this post from Erykah Badu when I had the pleasure of seeing her in concert at Wingate Park in Brooklyn a few weeks back..a BOMB free show if there ever was one..but as she was preluding the next single off of her latest album 'New Amerykah Pt. 1 4th World War,' she showed a bit of vulnerability about the crowd feelin the new joint (as if she really has a reason). There was no need to worry tho, becuz it was hot!! I'm so glad there are three more parts, becuz Part 1 is a well-planned tease..ANYWAYZ So now as I decide to share my own work, I'm borrowing Erykah's quote and this will be the title of each such post. Check out a piece I just wrote called WANNABE vs. JIGGABOO...Peace and a Bottle 'a Hair Grease!


OK, so after a few years of contemplating going natural with my hairstyle, I have finally done the do! I think after I got tired of my comb getting stuck in my hair as I grew it out, I said to hell with it, cut it to the roots!! And now, I love it on so many levels, and wonder why it took me so long to finally whack it all off. Initially my fear was how I would look, or rather would I have the confidence to pull the look off, and I must say having my perm chopped off to a length comparable to my man’s when he hasn’t had a fresh cut in a couple weeks, has added a swag to my step…As cliché as it may sound, I feel free…I feel bold…I feel kinda hot…

I feel like I’ve taken a huge step in the direction of living my life by my own terms, irregardless of what others have to say about the life I choose—and for me—that is a certified victory. I know there are many theories in existence surrounding black women and their hair, it’s our crowning glory, there’s a deep-rooted history. All that kept running through my mind was the scene from School Daze between the Jiggaboos and Wannabes.

Would Curtis still find me attractive with short hair? Will my family and friends look at me sideways, I was hoping my mother wouldn’t say Tara don’t you dare… Am I now out of the running for a whole slew of careers? Does natural hair make me more ‘black’, or more pretty, or less pretty, or more socially aware? Is it really just hair? It’s funny how such a simple change can affect personalities and attitudes and opinions and career opportunities…All I know is I’m still me. I will always be Tara Charisse.
No more $$ on a wash and set, just wash it myself and I’m out the door, I’d rather put that $30 toward my student debt…I don’t have to fold my pillow to keep from smashing my curls, only to wake up with a crick in my neck…No more spritz, or black gel, or the sound of my hair sizzling like some bacon, or running when it rains so my hair won’t get wet…Once had bangs and my face broke out—tryin to look cute, and this is the thanks I get?

I didn’t cut my hair because I moved to New York and became a different person, or because I have some big point to prove to the world. If anything I cut my hair because deep inside I was always scared to go against the grain of everything everyone else said I should be or look, and I can’t be that girl. This is about building self-assurance and esteem. So if going back to nappy roots isn’t it…if being naturally me isn’t it, I guess I don’t know what it means. It’s time to start from scratch and begin letting the complete me come out, so I’ll start by pulling my self-esteem off the shelf…Now I just gotta hold my head higher and look folks dead in the eye…Wow maybe I am changing a little…so allow me to reintroduce myself…


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